At your feet

<Inspired by one of my best friends :) > 

You’re there…it’s the moment, you’ve got the ball at your feet,

And you’ve got that big fat goalie, grinning with showing teeth,

And a couple of oponents running to snatch away that ball,

And suddenly you feel so small amidst the players so tall,

But you’ve cant let that fear take over,so you give it all you’ve got,

With every inch of your energy,one last blow but… its been caught,

Caught and thrown across the field by that big fat goalie who grinned with his showing teeth,

And just then you feel wasted,all your efforts void with… trembling feet,

Somehow the fear takes over once again, but just breathe,

Reassure yourself,Because times on your side,you could still be in the lead,

And it may happen over and over, but don’t loose your head,

Just remember all those words of encouragement,everything that was ever said,

But when the other team scores in that penalty kick,

And the others are rejoicing,smiling….and you feel sick,

And you don’t know what to feel and you look at your team mates,

But their world’s have fallen down,they seem to be in worse off states,

And all those memories just flash before your eyes,

When those dissapointed eyes of the coach; leave you hypnotized,

Of all those 5 am wake up calls and in school breakfasts,

Of all those many rigorous passionate practice sessions,

Of all that bonding just over a white and black ball,

Which seemed hard to control for even the tallest of them all,

Of all those million stunts you’d try to mimick and all the tension and stresses,

By this loss,all seemed pointless, so  worthless,

You’ve dissapointed so many, even though you played so well,

But lady luck didn’t seem to be on your side; no matter how many times you fell,

And ya.. you feel sad,almost about to cry,

And you wish that this loss was all just a lie,

But yea, nothing can be done now, be proud that you put up a good show,

And yea.. one lost game isnt going to shun out the glow,

So hey, continue those enthusiastic 5 am wake up calls,

Because one day, to your feet, lady luck is going to fall…

Presents

“Birds of a feather, flock together”

No doubt that this expression is proved scientifically and applies to all organisms across the ecosystem. But I do not observe this phenomenon with some of us, Homo sapiens.

Your perspective may differ from mine but I stand by what I say.

Because as far as my observation is concerned, I find people tend to get along with others who understand their view rather than have the same view. Who respect your choices but have different choices.

These differences may often lead to a feud but these differences tend to solve the feud as well. Don’t ask me how this is possible, because I honestly have no clue.

In all my 15 (almost 16) years of life, I have made so many friends. Some moved away from me, some got closer, some grew into just acquaintances, some into best friends, some into “hi-bye” friends and worse, some grew into “namesake” friends.

But strangely on one day of the year, namely my birthday, I find all these friends bustling to wish me. Some do it out of courtesy while close friends wish you out of love.

And of course, giving the birthday girl presents isn’t something new I suppose. I was showered with cards and presents. One of my close friends gave me a rather expensive show piece from the Archies Gallery costing about Rs.300 which I obviously thought that it was very expensive.

I wasn’t looking forward to any presents but when the most annoying but yet awesome person, that’s my best friend, didn’t give me anything on my birthday, I wasn’t disappointed but I was surprised, because every year she’d shower me with all unnecessary presents.

I would be lying if I say that I didn’t like presents but the smile on her face and a sweet hug accompanied by a hyper “HAPPY BIRTHDAY” was unique and special in its own way.

Many weeks passed by and I grew closer to my annoying friend.

She was more of an accessory kind of girl whereas I was more of a tomboy. She was more of a sane person capable of radical thinking and I was more spontaneous and insane. (When you meet her, you’ll believe she’s insane too)

We practically hate each other but are the only ones who can bear each other. She’s the one I can call, no matter what time it is. And our – “OK! We’ll cut the phone in five minutes” would go on at least for half hour. She’d be there for me when I was sad, angry or just happy. I could tell her anything, no matter how embarrassing and unexplainable it was.

And one day in the month of April, we spent the morning playing UNO when she suddenly gave me a present. Quite unusual though, I mean, who gives a present for no reason?

The present was a pair of hoop earrings. She had a pair which she often wore, for which I had complimented her couple of months ago.

The earrings didn’t cost much, maximum Rs.15. But the fact that she remembered my vague ancient compliment made this present a million times more meaningful than any Rs.300 present.

That’s when I realized- Presents are a way of showing your affection to the ones you care about. Of telling them, how much they mean to you. It doesn’t matter how much it costs because the sole purpose of presents is that they can express emotions which words cant.

And later that afternoon, my incredibly annoying friend dragged me from one shoe shop to another in search of the “perfect shoes” in the busy streets of Malleshwaram (a shopping area in Bangalore). She sat in each of these stores for almost half hour asking to try on every pair in the store until she decided that she didn’t want to buy any and ran out of the store leaving me to bear with the shopkeepers’ annoyed glances.

And yet she wasn’t tired! She went on dragging me to a million more stores until she spotted a sweet shop. She pulled me in there to give her company to eat, but, had no intention of sharing her large Rasgulla with me.

And as I saw her greedily gobbling up her dessert, I chuckled and thought to myself- I’m incredibly lucky aren’t i? I have her, the best present anyone could ever give me.

One in a million? Me? Na!!

When I was in 5^th grade, we had a story writing assignment . All of us had to write a story of about 50 pages or more. We got trained as to how to write a story right from making a list of characters to making the plot of the story. And the minute I finished my first book, a rather immature and a parody of some other novel, I decided that I want to be a writer!

It was quite an amateur dream actually. Since my first story was a parody of some other novel, I wasn’t quite sure what I want to write about but, I was pretty adamant! I wanted to be a writer!

But as I grew up, the society began to mould me. The society began to influence me in such a way that I knew for sure that being a painter, a dancer, a singer or a writer was NEVER going to happen. The probability of people being famous in one of these professions is ONE IN A MILLION!

ONE IN A MILLION!

And me? A writer? That one in a million?

Am I that special? Passion is not enough to be a writer then... what is?

The society told me~ don’t bother with all these idealistic dreams. Engineering, medicine or law will get you into the best university, will you get you the best job and hence, will get you the best pay.

My brain was quite convinced by the society’s gibberish but my heart is no fool. My brain caught up with the scientific world by the time I was in grade 10 and now, when someone asks me of what I want be, I say I want to be an engineer. (Quite a common answer really)

Thus, since I want the best, I get into the best school to mould me into scientific thinking, get into the best coaching centre to mould me into being an IITian and put in my best efforts to be one of  the country’s best technical minds.

Hence I gather those million thick books, dump them on my bed, get a comfortable position and start reading them one by one with a pencil in my hand. And after 2 or 3 hours when my brain refuses to cooperate, I close my eyes just for a minute and I am where I want to be.

I see myself doing what I love most. Writing. My picture on the cover of millions of copies of my book. My autograph on these books! That’s what I really want!

I want to be one the country’s best creative minds not one of the country’s best technical minds. That’s what I truly want. That’s what my heart wants me to do.

But my brain forces my eyes open to give me a reality check. I look at the clock and I’ve slept for five whole minutes!! If I want to be an IITian, I cannot afford to dream like this.

Hence as the hypocrite I am, I continue learning the intricacies of organic chemistry stifling my creativity, hoping that some day, I’l be one of the best techinal minds of the country in order to get the best job and the best pay.

Hypocrite

Someone once told me that I need to be more accommodative- that means that I need to stop criticizing everything that comes my way and to view the world unbiased.

While I can look at things biased and unbiased, I never remain constant on view. A good orator or perhaps a long explanation can change my view partially.

When I initially make up my mind to write, I know exactly what I want to but as I write, a completely different person takes over.

My sun sign being Virgo, criticizing is supposed to come naturally to me. But maybe, I’m just not skilled enough to critic.

And the only reason I critic is because the people around me are open minded shrewd critics but all of them aren’t Virgos are they? I’m not a perfectionist and hence I don’t deserve to criticize. And yet if I do, it’s called hypocrisy.

And I believe that I’m the biggest hypocrite existing.

Hence I want to change.

But how can I change the person I am?

But I’ve failed to realize that no one is a ready made person. You evolve, you transform, you mould into the person you are with a lot of external factors influencing this.

And I don’t believe that I shouldn’t change. Because its not called changing! It’s called being a better person. It’s called molding your personality into someone you want to be.

But mould your personality for the better and never for the worse! Because once the personality is molded, it’s very difficult to unfold.

And the only way to unfold that fake worse personality is motivation.

Motivation not from others, but from your own stifling inner voice.

Unfortunately, I am a HYPOCRITE.

Red

How can one colour signify so many things?
Isn't it strange how the colour red can signify love and hate at the same time?
When people see the colour red, a lot of emotions pass through their minds.Some see red as blood, some see red as in red roses, love <3
Some see red as anger!
Infact the bull gets angry at the sight of the colour red. However the homo sapiens <male> found female homo sapiens who dressed in red more suitable and attractive to mate.
However red brings the emotion danger in animals. They tend to get scared from the colour red. And yet the rose, the flower that signifies love, is red!!
You turn red when you blush and you turn red when you're angry. Infact i know people who turn red when they are laughing and turn red when they cry!
Red is thus full of contradictions.
I am in love with colour. Colour fascinates me. It has different effect on different people and there is no way to determine that.
But we often fail to notice the effect colour has on people. How the neurochemicals in your eye detect colour, transmit the signal to the brain and how the brain perceives it to its liking or not, no one will ever know.
Thats why, i have named this blog-RED! Because like red, my life is full of contradictions. Now perceive this-
Seductive red
Raging red
Blood red
Repulsive red
Bright red
Rose red
Rust red
Dangerous red
Red heart
Angry red
Love red
Contradictory Red!!

My.Life.Is.Red.